Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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