If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
