Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
