I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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