There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
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