How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
