okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
