I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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