Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
it was like eating out sand paper
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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