Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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