i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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