Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
