I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
