i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
