I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
bring money and cleavage
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Sorry about my life...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
