Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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