I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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