Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
