Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
