my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
