Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm both gender and math confused
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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