He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
NoShamevember. You game?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
