I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
