Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think a kid would responsible me up
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just gargled with NyQuil
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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