when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Sext me about skeletons
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
