Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
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