made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
