we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
