talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
