The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
