I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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