we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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