Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
