girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
