Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
