Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
