I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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