are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I need moral support for this bender
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
