Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
