Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize