the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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