Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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