I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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