I think im going to throw up on grandma
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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