So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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