I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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