i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
