Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
