he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
