I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
