It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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