so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
