i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
