I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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