I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize