I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
