Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
