..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
