So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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