I wish my penis had an off switch
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
