Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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