OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
