you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
