omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So squirting runs in the family.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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